So after about a week and a half of not doing anything but reading and trying to study Japanese, the insanity that comes from severe and prolonged boredom is setting in and theres nothing I can do about it. Im reading two books at once just to switch things up when I get tired of one. "The End of Faith" like I talked about below, which is still and ever more fascinating (although I cant read it in the morning before my coffee... requires too much brain power), and "Lilith's Brood" by Octavia E. Butler which, I must say, is fantastic!!! The final war on Earth has happened and nulcear winter and an ice age set in. But before the last humans die of starvation or radiation exposure from the UV rays that are free to reach the surface of the Earth, since the O-zone layer was completely damaged, a civilization of aliens rescues the last human beings and keeps them in suspended animation for 250 years while they let the Earth recuperate and rebuild/fix it etc... But in order for both species to survive, they must come together genetically and create a new species of Oankali/Human (Oankali being the aliens...). Anyway, it begins with Lilith's story and then goes on from there.. its really quite fascinating and a fun adventure. Octavia Butler is one of my favorite authors. She also wrote "Kindred", which is about an African American woman in the 80's who gets sucked back into the 18th century on a plantation and not only is forced to help keep the dipshit son of the plantation owner alive (who just so happens to be her distant ancestor!!) but also is forced to survive in a very hostile environment... its incredible!
Ok wow, how friggin nerdy am I?? So as I was studying Japanese today and at times wanting to beat my head against the wall, I realized that my handwriting sucks balls. I can't for the life of me duplicate the kanji to look anything but a bad interpretation. They seriously look like a kindergartener's handwriting! It's terrible! Never before has a learning a language made me feel quite so retarded. Of course, there are always times when one is learning a language when you feel stupid, but man.... Japanese takes the cake in this area. Not being able to spell anything in French didn't make me feel like I was dumb, it just made me resent the people who invented the French writing system with a passion. Ugh.. Oh well.
After reading Aaron's blog (http://furio1981.blogspot.com) this morning and reading about how he's worried about the reverse culture shock, I started to think about what things will shock or scare me when I go back. This is what I came up with.... Since coming to Japan, my inner dialogue has now become my outer dialogue because nobody can understand me anyway. This can be a MAJOR problem! Another friend was talking about how when he went back to the states and had a layover somewhere he went to Mcdonalds for a quick meal (probably missing fast food? i dunno) and ended up behind a seriously obese man in line. Well.. he had this whole inner-turned-to-outer dialogue problem as well and when he said "God there are so many fat asses around here", thinking that no one would understand him, the guy turned around and glared at him having heard every word.. Im afraid of the same thing happening to me. Fat people really stick out here. Most people are really really thin. I feel like a large cow compared to most Japanese women. Im also worried about driving and roads in general. Ive gotten used to the left side driving and itll scew me up going back. Im gonna end up saying "Hai! wakarimashita!" or "Hai! Arigato gozaimasu!" to people and store clerks in general.. Im gonna bow to people when thanking them.. and continually nod my head and mutter "mmm...mmm..mmmm" when theyre talking to me. Im probably gonna say "Heeeeeeeeeyyyy!" (rising intonation) when Im surprised by something. When I do understand something I might say "Ah so so so so so!" and if I stay here long enough I might end up saying "Nande?!" when I cant believe something. Im sure I'll be shocked and bothered by other things as well... since I will have been away for 1.5 years... its gonna be rough, so I ask all my friends and family back home to be patient with me... it's harder and weirder than you think. Sometimes reverse culture shock can be harder than the original culture shock itself since you think every things supposed to be normal, but what you now deem as normal is the different culture itself... hard to explain but believe me. I remember coming back from Ecuador and speaking Spanish unknowingly to my parents and friends. I lost my ability to express certain things in English and I definitely lost vocabulary. I can tell its already happening with me now.... I know when Anthony came back from Japan for a year and I saw him for the first time at our welcome back party, he was bowing to everyone and looked like he felt just as awkward and out of place as I did... it seemed surreal.
Anyway, thats enough blabbering for one day... I'll try and make something interesting happen soon for my next blog...
Oh! One more thing... I have to pay $100 on Friday for the company end of the year enkai (party)!! The thing is, I have to go or I'll lose face, but $100?!?!?! its gonna be at a Chinese restaurant... and it'd better be some damn fine chinese food (no more jelly fish)!!! In fact, it'd better have some crazy psychadelic ingredients in it for it to be worth so friggin much.. grrrrr.....
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