About my Halloween Costume...

I actually wanted to post this awhile ago, but as I am who I am, I got distracted and so I'm posting it now. This was a response to several inquiries about my Halloween costume. (The one in the pics below.) I had a few negative responses to it, so I decided to write about why I chose the costume and what it meant to me. Eileen (my stepmom), who loves to hook me into debates and philisophical conversations, which I have to admit I love cuz they make me think, asked me about my costume as well and wanted me to talk about it. Below is the email I sent her. Further comments are added at the end.

"First and foremost, it was a Halloween costume and, therefore, a joke.

The idea of it came about when Adam, Aaron, Liv and I were all in Wakayama at an izakaya, a Japanese style pub, eating yakiniku. Knowing that Halloween was coming up and not having any ideas, we started brainstorming. Adam shared his idea for his costume (catholic priest getting a blowjob from a little boy) and the other two loved it. Then Aaron was telling me how one year he saw a costume of a pregnant Virgin Mary. I thought that was interesting and itd be cool if Adam and I could be together in a theme. Since his was pretty offensive and always got many many laughs, I thought the pregnant Virgin Mary wasn’t enough. We like to ruffle feathers. Its fun and makes people think. Anyway, we were brainstorming about how we could make my costume as offensive as possible and came up with the "white trash pregnant Virgin Mary" idea. Of course, then we just got carried away and decided to add the little baby Jesus on my belt loops and write "Virgen my Ass" (spelled incorrectly, yes) on my tummy and "Who's my Daddy?" on the baby Jesus. Anyway, we were basically just having fun and making fun of something that people take seriously. It’d be the same thing if I dressed up as George Bush in tie-dye and dreadlocks with a joint behind my ear (which is a good idea now that I think about it--maybe that’ll be next years costume!).

All this, however, doesn’t mean it didn’t have an element of opinion behind it, because it definitely did. Honestly, I’m not Christian nor any other religion and I would never want to be. In fact, I get angry with organized religions because even though I think people need to have faith in something, I see religion as a means to control the masses and it really angers me how it can be manipulated to a ruler's wishes.

No, I have not read the bible nor attended mass my whole life. BUT, I have been exposed to it sufficiently to see how it brainwashes people and is the cause of much suffering and even war across the whole world. I have many friends who have been raised Catholic. Two of whom are homosexual. They grew up with a significant amount of guilt, self-loathing and hate. Because they were raised in such a closed-minded environment, they suffered and continue to have issues to this day regarding their sexuality. Is that fair? Is that a healthy way to grow up? I don’t think so. And I must say, Im eternally grateful that my parents didn’t drag me to church.

I’ve never felt comfortable about Christianity in particular. As a child when I did actually have to go to church or Sunday school, I constantly thought it was the most ridiculous concept Id ever heard of. It NEVER made sense to me and, therefore, people who were staunchly Christian made me uncomfortable as well. I always thought, "How in the world can they possible believe this shit. Are they serious?" Unfortunately, many of them are and it really saddens me. One of the main reasons it bothers me is the issue of the Bible. Not only was it written hundreds of years after Jesus had supposedly died, but it was written in either Greek or Hebrew (don’t remember which). In either case, it has been rewritten and translated thousands of times. When Martin Luther finally translated it into German from Latin, he could have interpreted those words and written it down however the hell he wanted. He could have written that aliens impregnated the virgin and that’s where Jesus came from and the populace would have believed it because it was in the Bible. (Obviously this is a slight exaggeration, but you know what I mean.) Texts are VERY difficult to translate and are VERY open to interpretation. It’s so hard to translate the nuances of one language into another. Therefore, translations are very often incorrect or convey a slightly different meaning than intended in the original. Taking this into account, how in the world could someone take the Bible of today seriously. I’ve read genesis and when I was done I asked one of my classmates (in Ecuador) if they actually believed it. When she claimed she did, I almost laughed, but thought it more sad than anything.

I was in the end making a very strong personal statement wrapped up in a Halloween guise. It didn’t start out that way, but that’s how it ended up and I don’t regret it. I feel bad if people get offended, but hey, it’s my opinion. I’m offended quite often by hard-core Christians and their ideals and morals but I don’t let it bother me for a long time. I can’t change their minds and they can’t change mine. There are MANY wonderful and nice and loving Christians--my grandparents and family of course are a prime example--but that doesn’t mean I have to agree with it. At the party there were quite a few Catholics and they actually thought it was funny. They realized it was offensive, but they didn’t let themselves be offended by it. (Adam won the "Best Overall" costume award and I almost won the "Sexiest" award.... was beaten by John who was a playboy bunny and did a strip-tease... damn...) Like I said before, I like to ruffle feathers and Halloween is probably the best time to do it. I don’t spout my beliefs in public, nor do I shove them down people’s throats like many religious fanatics do. But, given an opportunity like Halloween, I think it’s fun and more appropriate to express such opinions. Besides, Halloween is pretty much anti-Christian anyway, being Pagan originally.

Bush also has a lot to do with my negative feelings towards Christianity. He uses it to affect the masses and it honestly pisses me off. He drives home my point of religion being used to control the populace. I would probably have a beef with other religions as well if I knew more about them. I’m just exposed to Christianity much more often and, therefore, am able to form more of a concrete opinion about it. Judaism and Islam also have many problems as well. As do Buddhism, Shinto and Confucianism.

What I don’t understand, however, is why I got so much more grief for my costume than Adam did. His was just as offensive, if not more so than mine...... why did I get all the heat?

Basically, I really don’t care if people didn’t like it. If they were offended, then maybe they need to think about why they were and try and see it from my perspective. I’ve been living in a pro-Christian society for most of my life and I’m sick of it. I’m not saying I hate Christians, though, so don’t take it that way. I’m just tired of feeling bad for my opinions and always interrogated about them. Can I not just say "I don’t like it. I don’t believe it nor want to believe it" without getting bombarded by people thinking that it’s wrong? It’s my opinion. That’s it. I’m not harming anyone by expressing it so I wish I could be left in peace about it.

I’m sorry this ended up being so long, but I just really wanted to explain where I’m coming from. It wasn’t meant to be malicious and I'm sorry if people were offended. That really wasn't my intention."

These are very strong and very "non-mainstream" beliefs, I realize that. I don't apologize for what I believe. I really just wanted to get this out there because it is something I feel very strongly about.

A good friend of the family recently sent me a book called "The End of Faith" by Sam Harris. I've only just begun and I'm in love! It's not only fascinating and makes you think (as he was a philosophy major) but it also explores many sides of faith-based issues. It asks questions like, Why do we chose to believe in a book that was written 2,000 years ago (supposedly) and still hold those words as literal when we've made such advances in almost every other field? He basically talks about how illogical religion is in our day in age and why we're having all the problems we are concerning religious conflicts and terrorism etc. Anyway, it's VERY interesting and I recommend it to everyone, religious or not!

Pics of Kyoto Adventures

Camilla and me in a Nepalese restaurant in Kyoto

Adam and me in the same Nepalese restaurant

Temple in Kyoto (forgot the name!!)

Same temple. Calling on the Shinto spirits.

Same temple, different view.


Cemetery near that temple. Blue buckets are for filling with water to wash the shrines.

View of shrines.

View of sunset behind monk statue.

View of Kyoto City from top of the cemetery.

Frustrating Times at Nishinokyo High

Ok so i realized i havent written in a long time! Things have been busy and I didnt really feel like writing, honestly. But, now that I have a good stretch of time and not a WHOLE lot to do, I figured I might as well! This is gonna be really long, so brace yourself and read it in stages... I wont take offense if you get too bored and stop halfway through!!!

So the weekend of Adams birthday (11/11) we went to Kyoto to hang out with Camilla and see some temples. It was a really nice and fun, yet relaxing weekend, which was very nice for a change! The first night we got there, we went out for Nepalese food which was delicious!! Its a lot like northern Indian food with slight variations, of course. Then as we were walking back to her place before heading to the bar, it started to rain... now this wasnt a problem really (i mean im from seattle, right?) but i hadnt realized until then, that I had a hole in the bottom of my favorite pair of PUMA shoes!!!! Needless to say, my feet were soaking wet within a period of 2 minutes! Luckily I had another pair of shoes with me (im a woman, haha) and so i was temporarily saved.. the only problem was that they hurt my feet if I walked a lot in them....(i know.... problems and drama seem to plague me no matter where I go. ive come to the conclusion that i might thrive on it....at least it keeps things interesting!) Ok so, i decided right then and there that i needed a new pair of shoes. our mission was set for the next day! woohoo!

We then continued to our favorite bar there which is really just a small room with a bunch of what look like picnic tables. You sit wherever theres a seat, even if there are random people there. Makes for some interesting times, and we're never let down! This time we ended up sitting at this table in the corner and in walk a bunch of gaijin (foreigners) in their 40s most likely, who looked a bit nerdy.Of course they end up sitting by us. We were slightly disappointed at first cuz we did want to meet some japanese people, but whatever. As it turns out, though, they were Solar Physicists!! they were here for a conference and then were heading to Hawaii or something. They were all from different countries and it was really cool talking to them. They told us a bit about what they do, which went right over our heads, and then we told them about what we did and then got started talking about languages and linguistics. As i babbled on for about 5 minutes on the differences between this, that and the other language, I realized that what I was saying was as incomprehensible to them as Solar Physics was to me! Made me feel a lot better and also made me realize that everyone is good at different things. And even though someone might seem a genius, talk about something they dont know about and theyre just like everyone else. So anyway, we were talking and they were getting loopy over cheap japanese beer and then Camilla figured out that her boyfriend (whos an astro-physicist!) worked at the same place as the guy we were talking to did! But they didnt know each other... His name was Dr. Peter...... something.... curse my memory!! oh well. its a small world though, eh?

ok so the next day we went out to buy new shoes and I had to settle for mens cuz the womens shoes here only go to a size 9 (occasionally..) and i have a whopping size 10-10.5 clonkers... they looked at me funny when i asked for a size 30 (japanese size) so i just showed them my feet and then heard the characteristic sound of surprise, "Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....." (im not joking!) Anyway the gorgeous PUMAs i bought ON SALE (!!) are pretty unisex in style and are now my favorite shoes! Ill take a pic and post it above! Buying shoes just kinda gives you that spiritual lift and self-confidence boost, especially when followed by a purchase of 3 pairs of earrings for about $2.50 each! Go Angie!

Then we finally got to the temple sight-seeing and even though the temple was beautiful and the little girls running around in kimonos were cute as pie, the coolest part of the trip was the cemetery we visited. It was built on the side of the mountain and since they cremate people here, there were just a bunch of mini-shrines going all the way up the mountain. when we got to the top, the sun was just setting beyond the mountain in the distance and it was absolutely breath-taking! Very cool experience!

This last week was a bit frustrating though. On Tuesday when I went to my other school Id been invited to do a special class with some other Americans that lived in the area. The thing is that a couple of them were missionaries. Now that wouldnt have been a problem, but the one guy was just a bit too fanatical for me. Not only did he give a presentation to the students about the philosophy of the purpose of life (at the end, finding the truth in god was the answer....), which they probably didnt understand in the least, but THEN as we were all eating lunch and we were talking about the difference in cultures, he was saying how suicidal the society is! "You can tell by the way they drive their cars and run across the street when the light is red, and ride their bikes. They just dont even care about life." Excuse me, but what?!?!?! This dude has lived here for over 20 years! And he speaks Japanese fluently! He was talking about them the whole time as if they were nothing but stupid savages (honestly, im not exaggerating). Ill admit i get frustrated with the japanese society every now and then, but thats normal and NEVER would i talk about them with the disdain and arrogance that he did. It made me sick to my stomach. He then told me that in order to be able to live here and around them, all we had to do was go back to the scriptures and yadda yadda yadda... I was astounded that my teacher had let him do a presentation here. He also was really rude to her, which really pissed me off. She was being so nice and obliging and sweet. She offered us coffee after lunch and after handing a cup to him with a pack of sugar he picked it up and said to her, "Oh no, this is NOT enough sugar. Im American, NOT Japanese. I need much more sugar than this!" (!!!!!!!!!!!!) He then laughed as if it was a joke, but she didnt get it... it wasnt funny and i wanted to reach across and slap him upside the head. He just treated her so rudely. ARRRRGGGHH!!! The other two guests were very sweet and nice and when he was babbling on to me about the bible and whatever, i turned and looked at the woman and she gave me a sympathetic smile (whew!). Anyway, it was just a very uncomfortable situation because I couldnt say anything to him about it. Not only would he not be swayed by anything i had to say, but me arguing with him would only have made me and my school look bad, so i shut my mouth and suffered the lump of anger in my stomach. The thing they dont realize is that most Japanese really dont know a lot about christianity, but nor do they care. its pretty much a moot point to try and teach them about it or impose your beliefs on them. theyll just think youre nuts! Mainly,I just felt really bad for my teacher. she didnt deserve to be treated that way.

ok so then on thursday i had to teach with the teacher im not fond of but whose classes are great. the game i was doing for my class was really great, but a little noisy, so the other teachers had arranged to hold the class in other classrooms where they wouldnt disturb anyone. However, even though i give my JTEs (jp. teachers of eng.) the lesson plan a week in advance and tell them to let me know if there are any problems or changes that need to be made, he NEVER looks at it until the day of the lesson!!! So after the first class i taught with him, which of course was noisy, and disturbed the lessons around it, i had about 10 mins before the next class with him. During this short break he tells me he got complaints and that we have to cut out the game. This game takes up about 20-25 mins of class by the way. I asked him what we should do instead and he told me to talk, make up a story about Thanksgiving, and extend the other sections...... great.. thanks a lot, butt-muncher. I ask him to help me with this since its NOT my fault he cut the game and its NOT my job to teach the class alone, and he agreed "oh yeah! we'll do some spontaneous conversation, no problem!" So what did he do? Ignored me like the rest of the students, sat in the back of the room and giggled and joked with 2 of the girls WHILE I WAS TALKING and making a fool of myself in front of the class!!!!!!!! i was livid.. no MORE than livid and as soon as the class ended, i stormed out of class, went to the ladies locker room and choked back the tears that were threatening to pour down my face in rage. THEN, THEN (!!!) he had the nerve to come to me after class and tell me that the lesson wasnt all that great and was kinda boring!!!!!!!! OHHH ive never wanted to bitch someone out more! But i didnt. I smiled and said, "Well, its hard for me to fill 20 mins of time with nothing but talking when it wasnt my choice to cut out the game...." ugh.... i felt that if i said anything more than that, id end up screaming. I felt soooo bad for the students most of all because they were the only students who didnt do the game. they also heard all the noise and laughter from the previous class next door and were probably wondering why they werent having fun too... grrrrrrrr.

Ok but apart from that, things have been well!!! sorry about the rant. I guess my predecessor had problems with him too. good to know it wasnt just me. so this past weekend we (adam, liv, aaron, and I) went to osaka and went up to Hep 5, a mall, where theres a Ferris wheel on top. It was beautiful and you could see the whole city. pretty cool!! other than that we stayed at home, relaxed and had a good weekend.

So thats about it, i guess.... (thank the goddess, right?)

more installments and pics will come!

Addiction to Technology!

My new lil' cousin Julia Rose Jeffers!

Is she not the cutest little thing?! My cousin, Heather, just had little Julia on the 3rd after waiting a week past her due date! Whew! I bet she feels better now! Anyway, I think shes adorable but am still postponing that big life-changing event for a long time, thats for sure!

Anyway, nothing much has happened this week. I had some excellent classes yesterday with a teacher Im not the most fond of. His students are great and wonderfully genki (enthusiastic) even if he does kinda give me the heebie-jeebies! And since I was in a particularly productive mood and my main JTE (jp english teacher) absolutely loved my idea for our next class, I got a lot done and felt I taught really well. When I asked the students to take notes while I was talking so they could better play the following game, they actually were writing down some of the things I was saying!! I was estatic! Of course, when the JTE translated what I said, they scribbled rapidly, but hey, every little bit they understand straight from me is a huge plus! Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, haha!

So today is my dear boy's birthday, so Happy Birthday Adam!!!!! I love you! He's 24 today..... which for some reason doesn't seem as old as I thought it would. I guess its because we hang out with people who are sometimes much (and by that I mean 11 yrs... ehem... Zack, hehe) older than we are! So actually Im starting to feel like the baby in the group (which I think I am by at least a year or two...) instead of the mom I felt I was turning into my senior year of college! Honestly, Id rather be the baby now that Im over 21! Ok, so tonight we're heading to Kyoto to stay at Camilla's place and maybe go for a nice dinner and a couple drinks for Adam's birthday. We were going to have a big b-day bash with bowling and such, but everyone else seemed to have prior engagements, so that'll have to be next weekend.

I also realized after I got to school and was going to send Adam another cute b-day message that Id forgotten my phone at home!!!!! Honestly, I almost hyperventilated! My pulse quickened and I became all anxious. That is until I reminded myself that "Its just a phone, Angie. You'll be ok, you dont really NEED it to survive the day, as nice as that would be". The funny thing is that I deliberately looked at my phone lying next to my laptop this morning and said, "Ok, I cant forget my phone......" go figure! Then I got to thinking about how dependent we are on technology and how useless and panicked we can feel without it. (ok.. theres a jp teacher next to me practicing his golf swing......! something I cant even see my golf-nut of a dad doing during his work breaks! weird...) Anyway, I guess it would be nice to go somewhere and just leave the emailing, the phones, the text messaging at home and just relax. Hopefully itll be like that over Christmas and New Years. Tanning on the beach off the coast of Malaysia with a gin&tonic beside me....ahhh I cant wait!! Not only do I seem to have a crazy attachment to my phone, but also to emailing and blogging and checking my email in general... I think I need to get myself in check... On that note, Im going to end this and finish the test for my Japanese Correspondence Language Course Level 1..... ja mata!

by the way... the date on this says 11/10 when really its 11/11 here.. so yeah. Were in the future!! haha!

Crazies, Shrines, Halloween and other blabberings...

Me, Adam and some guy at the Mitsue Mikoshi Matsuri

Halloween... I just love that guy in the middle! He made our trio complete!

Aren't we scandalous?! Yeah, I think I'll stay unpregnant for awhile! Not so hot!

So, last time I attempted to post a blog i was doing so from a computer at work and, therefore, everything was in japanese..... Of course i spent over an hour typing my posting and then at the end, hit the wrong button due to my kanji illiteracy and deleted it all! Exhausted and frustrated i went back down to the office and proceded to teach a bunch of 15 year olds about Thanksgiving. (its harder than it seems, trust me!)

Anyway, what I had posted about last week i will briefly (your welcome) summarize now. We had the mid-year seminar last tues and weds which actually turned out better than I thought it would. Got to see a bunch of friends and hang out a bit between seminars. They were pretty interesting, most of them, and I got some good lesson ideas. Some of which I will definitely use in my upcoming lessons. They were much needed as my creativity seems to wane after a period of time. Anyway, all was cool and normal until we hit our last seminar. Andy, a fellow ALT had to do a presentation with this guy his principal set him up with. Wow... is pretty much all I can say about this dude. He was totally nuts and Im NOT exaggerating! Cutting Andy off to babble on about random things that had nothing to do with the presentation. For instance, at one point he brought out a steering wheel and acted out this scene where he went to a gas station and then continued on to Pachinko (strange japanese gambling game)..... very strange. Anyway, Andys presentation was good besides the nut brain. We came to find out later that he had JUST gotten released from a mental institution about 2 weeks ago due to a mental breakdown (that he obviously was NOT recovered from!). And this guy was a teacher with the "highest" credentials! scary stuff....

Then came the Mitsue Mikoshi Matsuri which for those of you who dont know, is a festival in the village of Mitsue where they carry a portable shrine all around the village and get drunk at the same time! yippee! and whats even more, it weighs a total of 2 tons, you carry it on your shoulders and there are 4 not so skinny kids sitting in the shrine itself beating a drum and chanting to keep the rhythm. Anyway, we were lucky enough to be able to participate in this lovely, cultural and spiritual (kinda...) event! There were about 50 people, i think, carrying the shrine 5 km around the village. Of course we would stop every 15 mins or so and run back to the sake and beer trucks behind us to load up on liquor! I didnt end up getting drunk but the old men in the back sure did! the drunker everyone got, the funnier they thought it would be to start pushing the shrine sideways so the people on the sides would either fall into peoples gardens or rice fields (me, twice!) or get slammed into the concrete walls on the other! It was all in good fun though and no one got hurt. We even ended up getting to wear robes for the event! At the end there was a raffle for lots of prizes and I even won one! Struggling to get the rather large box back home and hoping the prize was good enough to be worth the touble, I opened the package to discover I had won 6 boxes of Kleenex!!! Wooohoo! Actually, Adam and I have just caught a nasty cold, so they came in handy, who knew?!

ok so after that there was the big Halloween party on Saturday night/Sunday morning. It was loooooads of fun! There were some excellent costumes there and Adam even won "Best Overall" for his creative and offensive guise! He was a Catholic priest with a little boy on his front and I was the white trash, pregnant virgin Mary. Most people thought it was pretty funny, even if it was quite offensive. Some family members (who i didnt even know were slightly religious) ended up getting on my case about it, but whatever. I got a little crazy on the dance floor, as did we all, and ended up stubbing my toe pretty bad. it hurt a bit at the time but I didnt think much of it until someone looked down at my feet and started freaking out that my whole foot was caked in blood. Ooops! guess i banged it a little harder than i thought! its not that bad though, no stitches needed or anything. But, you know when you bite your cheek once and then keep biting it over and over and over again. Yeah, well it happens with stubbed toes too apparently! Today i must have smacked it against random items at least 5 times! figures.... Oh well.

My classes are going alright so far. The highs and lows of teaching are so extreme, though, its exhausting. I can go from pissed off and frustrated one class, where the kids are sleeping and ignoring me, to elated in the next because some girl wrote on her assignment "Im thankful for Angie because she teaches me English"! It might be sucking up, it might not be, but hey, its better than apathy and much more appreciated! My mom asked me the other day if I think im doing a good job and if the kids are learning English. Honestly, I think im doing alright, but as far as the kids learning English... I have no idea. I teach 540 students a week. Its hard to tell if theyre learning anything when you see them so seldom and you dont get to know them at all. I just hope Im leaving a good impression of myself, Seattle and America in general. i also hope to open their eyes a bit to our culture. Who knows if its working. I dont think im allowed to even see their grades. Anyway, I hope that puts things in perspective for people. Im not a teacher really, more of an American/foreign novelty who does her thing once a week and leaves it at that. Kind of sad and cynical, I know, but its the truth. Aaron was telling me a couple days ago that he doesnt think he could survive here without being cynical at times, and I totally agree. There are so many good things and then there are things that arent quite so good and things that are just downright annoying. I think if i was positive all the time my head would explode.

Ok well I think ive babbled on for waaaaay too long and was not brief in the least bit. Eh, if youre still reading this, it obviously means you were semi-interested! Adams birthday is on Friday!!! He'll be 24.....whoa.. were getting so old....