Crazy times in Nihon: October 2006

Every morning at 7:45am, I see my train pull up and observe the many body parts and faces smashed against the windows on the door. I give a heavy sigh knowing that I'll have to shove and pry my way into the negative space provided for the 2 minute ride to the next station where everyone and their cousin will transfer to the trains heading to Osaka. The location we live in is nice enough -- clean, quiet, convenient. However, there are some drawbacks to living in a sleeper town: Rush hour is hell on Earth! Now, I've never really had a problem with being in small spaces, but even the most claustrophobia resistant people can get a bit on edge here after awhile.

You might think, "It's only a 2 minute ride, how bad can it be?" Well, those 2 minutes are the longest 2 minutes of my day. This morning I had to lever myself into the train by pushing on the walls beside the doors, and get this, I was the first person in line at my stop! There were still 5 people behind me! The funny part about the morning squeeze, is the fact that the people at the opposite doors -- a mere 5 feet away, I must add -- seem to have an enormous amount of space. How is it that they have so much room when the rest of us have our noses smashed against the windows and are struggling to breathe?? Why don't they just move a little and even out the space? These are the questions that run through my head every morning. After I fail at answering these, other questions pop into my head: Why does someone always insist on farting in these tight, enclosed spaces? Why don't people brush their teeth in the morning but insist on talking across my shoulder to their friend behind me? The mixture of last night's alcohol seeping through pores, stale cigarettes and morning breath is sometimes just a bit overwhelming. And now, since the weather has cooled down to a pleasant temperature, the train conductors have turned off the AC. Sounds reasonable enough except for the fact that they circulated fresh air around. Now every time I'm forced into the mass of commuting humanity, butt to crotch and shoulder to chin, with the fogged up windows and stale, uncirculated air, my heart starts to beat a little harder, my breathe becomes shallower and my only thoughts are "Why can't this damn train go any faster! Open the doors! Get me outta here! Move people, move!! Brush your f'n teeth!!!!!!!" (or a variation thereof...)

This has also happened to a friend of mine, so I know I'm not alone in developing claustrophobia. I really have this feeling that Japanese don't have a sense of personal space. They don't seem to have those forbidden bubbles of space that other people should avoid entering. You can't really have a bubble on the train, I know that and I accept it. However, I would normally assume that I should have one at work, right? Well, I'm wrong about that too, as I've come to find out.

My desk at work is maybe 3.5 feet long and 2 feet wide. It's crammed with English Teaching Resource books, my plant and a couple other important accessories like hand lotion, hand soap, tea/coffee/miso soup cup etc. Add my beloved lap top to this and I'm left with about 1 square foot of work space... That's really not bad and I don't mind that. Most other teachers seem to be far less organized and are lucky to be left with 1 square inch of work space, so I should be very grateful. My problem is not with my desk so much as with the bubble of personal space I assumed I would have around my chair and desk area. Well, unless I'm currently occupying that space, it's fair game for everyone else. The teacher next to me seems to be a pretty popular guy and always has other teachers coming by to chat and students needing help on homework. This always seems to happen around lunch time. I sit in the corner of the room with the kichenette, so not only do I have chatty teachers squeezing into the 2 feet of space between my chair and the window behind me to talk to Mr. Popular, but I also have people in the 5 square foot area to my right, getting in and out of the fridge, microwaving some odd Japanese concoction, or just standing around chatting. The result: me scooted all the way into my desk with my elbows firmly pressed to my sides to avoid people knocking food out of my hands, dreaming about how nice it would be to have a space as big as a cubicle!

Another odd occurence happened yesterday as I was reading BBC News. One of the PE teachers who must have smoked since the age of 5 due to the sound of his voice, and who dyes his hair a strange orange color (hiding the gray maybe??) came over to my desk area. He mumbled something unintelligible, and then, to my complete surprise, stuck his face 2 inches from my computer screen -- no exaggeration. He shook his head and mumbled "Ahhhh zen zen wakarahen!" (Ahhhh I never understand!) I was taken aback and wasn't really sure what to say. I mean ok, so he couldn't understand the English.... How do you respond to that? Too bad? Congrats? Now you know what I feel like? I kinda just laughed and shrugged my shoulders thinking, "Ok weirdo, can you please remove your face from my computer screen and step out of my bubble so I can go back to reading the news?" I think he was just trying to be friendly, but... I don't know. It struck me as slightly invasive. Oh well.

Speaking of more odd occurences, I've recently had people roll down their windows as I'm walking home from work and say something to me in English. It's happened twice now and is kinda weirding me out. The first time, one guy shouted "Nice to meet you!!" and waved frantically. The second time, another guy drove past and shouted, "Harro!!!" while flashing me a thumbs-up sign. Too startled to react both times, I just stared at them feeling like a Sims character with a "?!" floating above my head. Honestly, now, what the hell is all that about? What kind of a reaction do they expect from me? I don't know them! Ugh... strange, strange, strange. I wish I could react quick enough and have time to flash them the bird.

Apart from all that, the weather has been unusually pleasant lately! Getting up to about 75F during the day and cooling off to the 50s at night (I think), it's really been a nice change. I actually am surprised it's still so warm. I would have expected it to be a lot cooler, but hey, I'm not complaining about this! Also with the autumn weather come the wonderful smelling bushes that I mentioned in my last blog I believe. I finally found out what they're called: Kinmokusei. In English it's just the latin term for the species, Osmanthus Frangrans, because I think they're only native to Asia. Although, it might also be called "mock orange" or "sweet olive", not sure. Whatever they are, they're wonderful! Rice harvesting season is also underway, so people seem pretty excited. On the news you hear them talking about the new and fresh, delicious tasting rice that will be out soon. Ummm... delicious white rice? Am I missing something? I wasn't aware it had much of a taste... Anyway, as I was passing by a store I saw something I'd never seen before. Someone was growing 3 rice plants in a flower pot! Not 1, not 5, but 3 rice plants... in a flower pot. Maybe they ran out of flowers? Maybe they couldn't afford a rice field? Your guess is as good as mine.

Also, on a completely random note, I've decided that I really prefer using a squatter toilet when going number 2 (I told you I'd have a lot of time to think...). I've noticed that it feels much more natural and you hardly ever have to push! Adam also informed me that Western toilets force you to put a lot of strain on your colon and other areas in that region which can cause problems later in life. Makes sense to me. The only time I DON'T prefer them is when my balance is not at it's finest -- after drinking for example or in the middle of the night. So, it'd be nice to eventually have one of each in our future house. Supposedly, squatting is also the most natural way to give birth....

Ok well that's enough babbling for today. Now I just have 4 more hours until I'm able to leave. This time will be consumed with lunch, some reading, a nap, some more reading, and checking my email and Myspace. Yay...?

I know I'm way overdue for a post but I just haven't been much in the mood for writing lately. I've been pretty busy these last 3 weeks with classes and all, which is great! However, I am now back to doing nothing for another 4 weeks. I'll have a couple more classes at my second school and then will have to make a Listening Test -- which takes a total of maybe a couple hours at most to put together. After that, I have time to sit around and think... sigh.

AJET has also been taking up a good deal of time and we're currently planning our annual Halloween Dance Party. We're hoping to draw a LOT of people this year by advertising early (I hope) and offering free drinks for reserving tickets early. We also have a 5,000 yen ($45) prize for our Overall Best Costume Award. The other, lesser, categories are Scariest, Sexiest, Funniest, Most Offensive (Adam and I would have gotten this last year) and Crappiest (for those who really just threw something together at the last minute!). We're also donating 20,000 yen (a bit less than $200) to our local Habitat for Humanity and will be selling food and snacks there to benefit them as well. We're trying to organize some games like Limbo and biting-an-apple-off-a-string-with-no-hands. Hopefully it'll all work out. As far as costumes go, I'll be wearing a traditional Mongolian overcoat called a "del", along with a crazy looking hat. It should be nice, but nothing offensive or startling like last year. Adam still hasn't decided on his costume but will probably want something offensive or funny. If anyone has any ideas, PLEASE let us know!

So, there's a spider that's taken residence outside my window at work and usually in my past I've either feared or just been grossed out by spiders. However, this spider is kinda cool (provided it stays where it is...!). I think it's the type of spider called locally "Welcome spiders" because they like to build webs near doors and windows, therefore "welcoming" you home (not poisonous). They can get about 4-5 inches from leg tip to leg tip at their largest and are quite brilliantly colored. Their body is a sort of striped yellowish-green and their legs are striped black and yellow. The one I've been watching outside my window, (let's call him Ted for the sake of this narrative) was busy re-making his impressive web. As he moved his way about delicately attaching his silk with his back leg to the appropriate part on the web, I was struck with a sense of extreme awe. How in the word could we have ever so carelessly destroyed something so masterful and beautiful. Honestly, a spider's web is a gorgeous work of art. It takes them so long to create one and I'm sure costs them so much energy, that for us to come along and destroy it with a stick (or whatever else), seems pretty barbaric. Some of their webs can get to be about 3 feet in diameter!! Ted is an amazing creature indeed!

Anyway, that's enough nature talk for now. I've been a little down lately. A few classes this last week have really upset me and made me really wonder if I can make it through another year here. Most of my classes are lovely and, especially with my candy-filled Halloween lesson, are a lot of fun! However, a couple classes are filled with students who, for some unknown reason, seem to think I'm not a human being, but instead some kind of a strange clown from a different planet. I was in the middle of acting out some vocabulary (making them guess the meaning in Japanese -- thereby avoiding the whole translation bit) and some students just started laughing. I know I didn't have boogers on my face or chalk on my butt, so I ignored it at first. But then it became so distracting I had to ask what was going on. The JTE (jpse teacher with me) said they thought it was funny that I was so "genki" (energetic). Ah... well I'm sorry for not being a boring drone! Most classes seem to like the fact that I'm positive and energetic in my classes. I know it's a pretty big change from the usual monotone lectures they normally get. It wasn't so much the laughing part that bothered me so much as the general air of disrespect. They refused to do anything I asked them to, refused to raise their hands and answer simple questions or repeat something I needed them to practice. I was so inscensed at one point I almost said "F@$# it! I'm outta here" and left the room. I didn't, but I sure wanted to. Other classes were dead-silent and seemed like complete zombies. I don't think there's anything more humiliating than having your students not respect you and, therefore, make you feel like a fool when your principal and vice-principal are watching. Every once in awhile you hear about a teacher going nuts, snapping and stabbing a student. It seems extreme, I know, but honestly... I'm not surprised! I would have loved to take a couple of the chalkboard erasers (which are always filled with chalkdust) and poof them on the kids' faces, purely for my own enjoyment.

Anyway, I've started being harsher with the "unruley" students. I don't like to be mean and I don't like having to get mad, but there's nothing else I can do. Adam doesn't think I'm acting harsh enough and that they'll continue to walk all over me.... Maybe he's right. Winning them over as the nice guy worked at the beginning, but maybe they're starting to think they can take advantage of me. I'm technically not a real teacher, so they don't tend to think of me as one. However, I'm just trying to do my job to the best of my ability and they make it impossibly frustrating at times. It's also to do with the age, I'm sure. They're 15-16 years old but act like they're in 8th grade. The maturity level here is quite a bit lower than in the states. I'd always vowed NEVER to be a middle school teacher and was very happy a year ago to learn I'd be teaching high school. Well, I might as well be teaching 7th or 8th grade. Grrrrrr!

Whatever, this is definitely my last year here. They could but wouldn't fire me for any but the most serious reasons. I discussed this with Adam and he said that up until now I've been very tolerant (in actions, not my rants) of the culture and have been trying my hardest to fit in. Well, it's kicking me in the butt. I'll never fit in here and no matter how hard I try they'll still view me, not as a person but as a strange, foreign being. It's time I literally say "F&%$ it!" and stop being let down all the time. I'm going to be the person I am and not care about trying to fit in anymore. This will probably cause people to think I'm rude (because I state my opinion and can actually say the word "no"), and abrasive. Whatever. I'm tired of caring. This isn't to say that they're ALL like this, because they're not. Most of the people I work with are very nice and helpful. However, they still see me as an outsider.

The day before yesterday there was a lecture here at school about the "foreigner issue" in Japan. Since they have opened Sumo Wrestling to foreigners, the only champions have been Mongolian or this one Bulgarian guy. This has raised a lot of issues because they think of Sumo as a Japanese sport -- ergo, foreigners shouldn't be allowed to be the champions. One of my teachers came back from this lecture and asked me about foreigners in our sports like baseball. He wondered if we had any regulations or limitations on how many foreigners could be on a team. I said, no we don't (which is true). He wondered what we thought about foreigners setting records, like Ichiro, for example. I said that it didn't matter that he was foreign. If he's playing for the Mariners and doing well, then that makes the team and us look good. The fact that a huge number of our players are from other countries, like Puerto Rico, Japan etc. didn't matter. He seemed to think this was strange. Then he asked me if I ever felt discriminated against being a foreigner here in Japan. Unsure of how much opinion to give him, I asked if he wanted the truth. He said yes, so I, in the most benign way possible said, "yes quite often acutally". We get turned away from restaurants and bars. We are stared at and thought to be very stupid. We just recently made a reservation at a Japanese style hotel in southern Nara and they actually required that a certain percentage of the people in our group be able to speak Japanese. Things like this would be considered prejudiced and racist in America.

Anyway, I tried to tell him what I experienced in a very nice way. Hope it turned out like that. He's nice so I didn't want to bitch or complain, just explain. He was surprised to hear about all I had to say and mentioned to me that since many people didn't grow up seeing a lot of foreigners, they don't know how to act or behave around them. I thought this was silly, since all we want is for them to treat us as human beings, NOT as strange creatures. I basically told him that we would like to be treated the same way they would like to be treated (read: Golden Rule). Not sure how successful I was in getting my point across. Expressing a complicated opinion is difficult in simple English.

On another note: All the women in my family got together a couple weekends ago for our annual MAD Runamuck (Mothers And Daughters = MAD). I was pretty sad not to have been able to attend. However, completely on accident I called my mom one of those nights and was able to talk to all 8 of them! It was so nice to be able to talk to everyone again after so long. I can't wait to see them all at Christmas!! 76 days and counting! They said that I was there in spirit... no idea what this meant but knew it had to be something really goofy. When I saw the pics, I finally understood! Kinda cute, kinda weird! Haha! Here are some pics from the craziness that is my family! Enjoy!